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growth and partying
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Kurshot’s Journal — Growth and Partying — June 14, 2016

growth and partying

I’ve noticed that my life ebbs and flows. And the biggest trend that I see is extreme stages of growth where I spend most of my time learning, and then swing to extreme stages of partying, or as I like to look at it as, mental rest (which I’ll get to in a second).

One thing I’ve learned is that it’s difficult for me to grow rapidly or produce great work while also partying.

And that’s for the simple fact that in order to rapidly grow, I must be 100% clean mentally and physically. That’s when my mind is the most functional, which allows me to learn the fastest.

In other words, I can’t be drinking or eating like shit, or staying out all night—all of which comes with the party lifestyle—if I want to grow rapidly.

But I also LOVE going balls to the wall and partying my ass off.

This is a result of the fact that moderation is difficult for me. When I do things, I take them to the extreme.

I don’t ride my bicycle to Walmart. I ride it from NYC to LA.

I don’t study for a few hours. I become obsessed with a subject for 10 hours a day for months at a time until I thoroughly understand it.

And the same is true for partying.

I don’t go out for a drink and come home before midnight. I go out for a drink and end up on a crazy 3 day bender that often leaves my body and mind mutilated.

But that’s what’s interesting.

The same also occurs during extreme times of growth. I’ll go without sleep and my mind will be on full-blast for months at a time.

In other words, regardless of whether I’m in growth-mode or party-mode, I’m putting my mind and body through hell.

This is interesting because, like I said, I see partying as a time for me to rest my mind. But I suppose it’s a different kind of rest.

When I’m in growth-mode, I get annoyed at people very easily and take everything very serious. My mind is in a very intense state over a long sustained period of time.

And when I’m in party-mode, I think everyone and everything is hilarious and take nothing serious. This allows me to relax my minds need to be so intense about everything.

All in all, I think this all stems from the fact that A) I’m an extremist, and B) the only thing consistent in my life is constant change.

I need constant change or my mind gets bored fast.

Constant growth-mode becomes very boring for me, but so does constant party-mode, hence why I’m constantly flip-flopping between the two.

So I’ve come to terms with this ebb and flow in my life. But sometimes I wonder if there’s a better way.

I’m not sure.

Because of course there are more “sustainable” ways of living, or rather, alternative lifestyles that are more balanced—that’s needless to say—but I don’t think that’s me.

I believe everyone has a core-self.

People can learn all sorts of different mindsets and strategies that produce better results in their life, but at the end of the day, everyone has a core-self that never changes.

I know for a fact that I’m the same person I was when I was 4 as I am today at 30.

I can remember all the adventures I use to go on and how my mind functioned back then, and nothing has really changed except for the fact that I have more life experience and a better set of mental tools to guide me through life.

This is why I always advocate accepting yourself as you are. And that’s for the simple fact that there are advantages and disadvantages to every lifestyle or way of thinking and being.

I find many advantages in my current lifestyle, as well as many disadvantages.

And I’m okay with that. That’s me, and I accept who I am at the core because A) I know my core-self will never change, and B) although not perfect, I think I’m pretty rad.